Tracks of a Wandering Mind

Poetry, stories and random thoughts from a wandering mind.

Something Different

Approximately eight weeks ago, I woke one morning to find my wife sitting on the edge of our bed, looking at me and crying. I had gone to bed early the night before and had been asleep when she came to bed. It is extremely rare that this ever happens as I am a night owl by nature. When I asked her what was wrong she told me that when she came to bed, she sat there and listened as I completely stopped breathing in my sleep, not once but several times. The Reader’s Digest version of this is that I saw my doctor and was diagnosed after a sleep study with Obstructive Sleep Apnea.

I have since been placed on a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine for sleeping. I use a face mask at night, turn the machine on and go to sleep. It’s unhandy, uncomfortable and difficult to become accustomed but it has completely changed my life. Sleep Apnea is not a disease or condition you can point to and say, “Yes, that’s what it looks like. It’s insidious, causing damage over a long period of time and the signs and symptoms are vague at best, more easily related to ‘getting older’, ‘just out of shape’ or ‘working too hard’. I slept six to eight hours a night, every night so of course I got enough sleep. But I didn’t get the sleep my body and mind required. Sleep Apnea breaks the sleep cycle humans need and interrupts the important REM sleep every person requires. My sleep study showed that I stopped breathing an average of 25 times an hour, which effectively destroyed my sleep time.

Your doctor can help you take a simple questionnaire that can help determine if you are a candidate for a sleep study. This questionnaire can help detect something called Excessive Somnolence Disorder and is a high indicator for the possibility of Sleep Apnea. Being tired all the time, needing to take a nap during the day (or more than one), mood changes/irritability, inability to concentrate, nodding off while doing something (or zombie driving – i.e. how did I get here so fast), all are indicators that you should at least talk to your doctor.

Less than two weeks after using CPAP every night, my entire attitude has changed, remarkably. I wake immediately, I’m no longer tired during the day, my concentration has improved by a huge factor and I have become a LOT easier to live with, according to my wife. There have been far too many changes to document in a short space but suffice to say that even though CPAP can be difficult to become accustomed to, I would not give it up – period. The short version: if any of this might apply to you, go see your doctor. It might be the best thing you ever did. It was for me.

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May 28, 2018 Posted by | Random Musings | 2 Comments

Faded Heart

(a mixed tanka)

 

in his favorite
place;
he slowly rocks back and forth,
remembering;
to silent music,
humming;
as he looks at her picture,
grieving;
and his faded heart still loves.

the world moves quickly,
hurrying;
but for him time is slowing,
waiting;
as he remembers,
laughing;
with his faded heart smiling,
loving;
something old and something new.

and the world sees him,
rocking;
sitting there and just smiling,
watching;
not out a window,
living;
but to a time they can’t know,
loving;
with his fading heart smiling.

 

August 1, 2017 Posted by | Poetry | Leave a comment

Song of Seasons

(in four tankas)

Spring Song
With the Spring of life
Comes the laughter and delight
Of all that is new,
That touches all the senses,
Pleasing the innocent heart.

Summer Song
The long summer song
Marks now the passing of days
Hurried, uncounted,
As the season slips slowly,
Unnoticed, into the past.

Autumn Song
Slowing now, the time
To harvest the music sewed
In fields of Summer,
As the days slow and nights cool,
Heralding the Winter song.

Winter Song
Slowly now the tune
Plays out its final refrain,
To fade silently,
But listening quietly
As the song begins anew.

April 19, 2017 Posted by | Poetry | 1 Comment

Peace

(My sister Charlotte wrote me and sent this to me. Love you Sis)

Peace is elusive.
I search day and night
for its beauty that calms my fears,
then tells my soul and spirit
rest now, sleep without dreams.

Sing o’ heart, for you have found that
which passeth all understanding.
Rejoice, for you are touched,
blessed without measure.

Give thanks to the One
who bestows such a gift,
sing His praises all the day.
Lay ye’ down,
and rest now, sleep without dreams.

Charlotte Hudson

 

August 10, 2016 Posted by | Poetry | 1 Comment

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